Oh my god HIIIIIII!!!! Squeeze!!! (We both shift neatly to the allowably squeezable parts of our bodies).
Are you ok? How are you feeling after your first walk down the street? I'm so sorry I'm a bit sweaty from walking myself. This is one of my favourite cafes! I am totally going to order these DELICIOUS FREE RANGE ORGANIC HORMONE-FREE ANTIBIOTIC-FREE GLUTEN AND PHYTOESTROGEN - FREE POACHED EGGS!!! What are you having?
I didn't have the eggs. I probably could have had the healthy eggs, but I switched over to the scrumptiously sugar-laden peach jam tart instead. And it was unmistakably the best decision ever. Admittedly, I didn't choose the eggs because I had already had a healthful breakfast, so in no way am I poking fun at my friend who definitely needs the best and cleanest vitamin-filled food she can have right now. But ordering that tart made me feel utterly carefree and that is what I wanted to be feeling this morning when I met up with my delightful friend and her delightful partner (my friend too!), who are, believe it or not, also. dealing. with cancer.
You know, everything is about perspective. There are things about her cancer that make mine seem like a walk in the park, and there are things about mine that make hers seem like (fingers crossed) a much shorter treatment. And it's so crazy that we are going through these things at the same time together, but weirdly, it's just nice to have a cancer buddy to enjoy phytoestrogen-free foods with. I know that sounds super dark and slightly wrongtown as it implies I might be happy that someone else close to me has cancer, but it is one of those crazy dualities in life that feels kind of true. But the BEST thing about us going through this together is that neither of us have to head into chemo. We would both totally drink to that!! That is, if either of us were currently drinking. "Here's to no chemo! CLINK!" Awwww.... no wine.
My brave mate is another original performer of ridiculous talent and sparkle, and we just have so many many similar concerns. We talked about our careers and future life choices, family, the "cancer card" (don't leave home without it!) and fertility and crying and laughing, and food and supplements and swimming and the fear of this thing coming back and how to avoid it. We also talked about how to come to terms with our creative selves which seem to be operating in an entirely different universe to where we are right now. Neither of us can figure out how to marry this health thing with what we usually do. I certainly haven't touched my myriad of projects, nor gone into my studio. But most importantly, we also noted how gorgeous and attractive we happened to both be looking! This is truth.
Disclaimer: Looking attractive may not be the most important factor.
It's incredible to be talking with someone who completely "gets it", even though we are dealing with slightly different things. My friend had to have an entire kidney removed because of her cancer baby. Me? I just lost a couple of nodes and some bosom tissue from the old 12DDs, which, let's be honest, I probably could have afforded to lose anyway. But our tumour excisions were only one day apart. Surgery Sisters! I hate that she is going through this. I hate that we both are going through this, but I feel vaguely comforted by having a buddy to laugh about it with, and to discuss.... ummmm.... you know... FEEEEEEEEEEEElings.
Since starting this blog, so many close friends have come out to me with their cancer stories. I am amazed at how MANY have gone through this and worse and come out the other side of it, and I had NO IDEA that they had cancer while they were going through it. No idea. It's more prevalent than I ever knew about. I mean, I knew cancer existed, but that happened to other people, right? Not the people I knew. Not my friends. It happened to everyone else. You know, "the others". The ones with no hair.
Perhaps that's not entirely true. I did lose a beautiful, divine friend to cancer who I miss dearly. I just honestly wasn't aware that I knew many actual survivors. As it turns out, I know heaps!
I am sad that I didn't know then about my other friends' cancers - testicular, pancreatic, skin, bladder, breast. I would have liked to have been there for them when/if they needed it most. But I am so very grateful that they are around to tell me now. So very utterly grateful that they made it through to the other side. And although it has morbid connotations due to that weird duality, I am so grateful that none of us here in Club Cancer, are alone. That we have other people to eat non-phytoestrogenic food with. That I am there to eat phytoestrogen-free food with them. Well... Yeah, I wiiiill.... Of course I will. Unless, my dear, it just happens to be a day that I just happen to want to choose the peach jam tart.
I bloody love you. Shut up. *FEEEEEEEEEEElings....*
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AuthorLana Schwarcz is a stand up comic, puppeteer, and theatre-maker living and working in Melbourne, Australia. She is proud mother of an adorable labrador, whose name is Tyson, but who thinks his real name is "I Love You". Archives
January 2015
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